I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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