if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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