there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
