At least make sure they are 18
Why
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
