just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
