I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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