Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize