Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
