her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
