I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
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