I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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