Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
