she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
