So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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