i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I look better un-naked...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
