I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
