Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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