Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
