i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
