You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
