he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
