ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
