if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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