So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
