Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You are the jesus of drinking
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
