I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
