i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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