I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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