There is no way he is gay with that hair.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
