There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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