I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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