i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i think my cat just said my name.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
