I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
