If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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