I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
