I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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