Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she pinky promised me she was 18
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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