he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize