omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize