If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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