No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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