how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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