i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
