one two three fourrrrnication!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
