And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
did you just send me my own nude
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
