Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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