I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
