I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
