My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
