2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
