I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
