i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
