i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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