he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need to sanitize my soul.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
