Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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