youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
