Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Someone shattered a urinal.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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