her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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