the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
what day is it and did you see me today?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
