how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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