is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
