You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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