i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
