Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
