he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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